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It\u2019s a common belief that fictional worlds shouldn\u2019t affect us so much, yet for some people they are incredibly impactful. Coming to terms and dealing with these emotions can be frustrating and confusing, especially because some feel like they have no support from their loved ones. But those incomprehensible feelings do have an explanation, and there are things you can do to deal with them.<\/p>\n
Why It Feels Like the End of the (Not so Fictional) World <\/strong><\/p>\n A pivotal step for dealing with all sorts of emotions is understanding them first. However, understanding emotions that come from events that didn\u2019t really happen may present some difficulty. \u201cIt makes absolute sense,\u201d says Boston psychologist Dr. Anne Gehrenbeck-Shim. \u201cIt\u2019s mainly two components. First, there is probably something we find compelling about the character. We identify with them, we follow them throughout everything,\u201d she says. \u201cWhen they die it\u2019s like a grieving process. We\u2019ve gotten to know them and we\u2019ve invested emotional energy on them.\u201d<\/p>\n There are scientific theories that explain this process. She refers to a psychological theory developed by Freud. The theory\u2014cathexis and decathexis\u2014is about when we\u2019re building a relationship with someone. Cathexis, or the concentration of mental energy on one person, idea, or object is like a spider building a spider web, she explains. You have to invest a lot of time and energy into the relationship, like a spider does with its spiderweb. When that relationship is broken\u2014decathexis, the withdrawal of cathexis\u2014, in this case because of the characters\u2019 death, you cannot simply break the spider web. You have to reabsorb it to build another one. Sometimes it\u2019s even more personal than that. \u201cTheir deaths may bring up other losses in our lives,\u201d she says, \u201clike when we lost a close friend or a family member.\u201d<\/p>\n Gehrenbeck-Shim says these characters may be our favorites for a reason. You spend hours\u2014sometimes years, if we\u2019re talking about a book series\u2014reading about their adventures. You are with them through their ups and downs. You see them grow and form bonds with other characters. It is only reasonable to feel upset when you won\u2019t have the chance to read about them anymore.<\/p>\n Find a Distraction<\/strong><\/p>\n There are some common coping mechanisms that you can try if you find yourself upset. One of the most popular ones is to find something else to focus on. After reading something that was upsetting, the last thing you want to do is keep doing what is causing you distress. \u201cSit there and distract yourself and then go back to it,\u201d says Emerson student Rodriguez. \u201cWhen I was reading They Both Die at the End<\/em> I kind of knew it was coming, so I took a break before it got too bad. I like to distance myself from the book to calm down before I dive in again. But only for a day or two, because if I spend more time away I know I won\u2019t come back to it.\u201d<\/p>\n So, take the time you need. In the meantime, watch your favorite movie, read your favorite pick-me-up book, do the thing you\u2019ve been putting off. When you are ready, get back into that book.<\/p>\n Find Someone to Talk To<\/strong><\/p>\n Finding a distraction can work wonders, but sometimes you\u2019ll be lucky to have a friend who has also read the book and has experienced the same feelings. Some of your friends may even let themselves be coerced into reading said books. Or even if they haven\u2019t, they will still let you dump all your feeling onto them.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s really the best thing you can do, find someone and talk to them,\u201d psychologist Gehrenbeck-Shim suggests. \u201cIt\u2019s very helpful to get your feelings out and see that you\u2019re not the only one feeling them.\u201d<\/p>\n Embrace Your Feelings <\/strong><\/p>\n After you\u2019ve talked about it, you can try to actively work to ease your emotions. The most effective way is by accepting them first, because hoping that they just go away is not an effective way to get rid of them. \u201cI was very upset when I read The Hunger Games<\/em>,\u201d says Emerson film student and fiction enthusiast Emerlynn Shibayama. \u201cI usually try to ignore it, but I don\u2019t think it works. It doesn\u2019t help when people tell me to get over it, either.\u201d<\/p>\n Many people try to convince themselves that what they\u2019re feeling is inconsequential or trivial. But the truth is that if it\u2019s making you feel bad, then it\u2019s not trivial at all.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t beat yourself up about it, it\u2019s natural to feel this way,\u201d says Gehrenbeck-Shim. Don\u2019t be ashamed of your feelings, it\u2019ll be another added stress on top of already feeling upset about your favorite character\u2019s death.<\/p>\n Lise Haines, author of Girl in the Arena,<\/em> When We Disappear<\/em> and writer-in-residence at Emerson College, says, \u201cEmbrace it. For me it\u2019s better to take something away from the story, even if it hurts, than not taking anything.\u201d<\/p>\n Don\u2019t Force Yourself to Finish<\/strong><\/p>\n Many people, like students Rodriguez and Writing, Literature, and Publishing major Gabriella Billiter, want to finish the story, even when it causes them pain. \u201cEven though it may be tempting, I never stop reading when a character dies. Reading on usually gives me closure,\u201d says Billiter.\u00a0 Having closure to the story may be helpful to many. But there are times when a character\u2019s death can be particularly upsetting for one reason or another. \u201cThere was one time when it hit too close to home,\u201d says Haines, \u201cI felt like the best thing to do was to walk away from it.\u201d In situations like this it\u2019s important to know that you are under no obligation to continue reading, especially if it’s something that is taking a toll on your mental health. Distance yourself from the material if you feel like it\u2019s the best thing for you and reach out for help if necessary.<\/p>\n Indulge in Fan-written Material<\/strong><\/p>\n When the source material is too dire, some fans try other ways to obtain more information without hurting themselves. \u201cI tend to go back and reread their scenes and major parts in the story,\u201d says Billiter. \u201cI rewrite in my head how the story could\u2019ve gone so they could live.\u201d It\u2019s likely that other fans are also upset about a character\u2019s death and have decided to take the issue into their own hands. They sometimes write stories about them and share them with the world. Popular sites where fans upload their material include Fanfiction.net, Archiveofourown.org and Tumblr. Sometimes they stick to the original plot, and sometimes fans take every liberty imaginable and create a whole new story about the characters you already know and love. Reading more material on your favorite characters, especially in absurd or happier scenarios, can be comforting.<\/p>\n The Author\u2019s Side <\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s easy to blame authors for our emotions and to think that they spend their days planning how to make us suffer. After all, they\u2019re the ones who killed our favorite characters. But these deaths can be hard on them too. \u201cYou just don\u2019t think how to get rid of them,\u201d says author and Emerson\u2019s writer-in-residence Haines about how it feels to kill a character. \u201cI was driving when I realized that a character was going to die in my story. It was surprising, I was elated,\u201d she says. \u201cIt was unpleasant and scary, but it made absolute sense.\u201d<\/p>\n Authors debate between doing what\u2019s right for the story and what would make them and the readers happy. Many times, sacrificing one thing for the other. They get attached to the story and characters as much as readers do, if not more. \u201cYou get a similar feeling when you finish a book,\u201d Haines says. \u201cIt\u2019s like you killed them all off.\u201d<\/p>\n Some Last Advice <\/strong><\/p>\n Death in books is often necessary, and yes, it sucks. But try to remember that healing is a slow process and that it is different for everybody. Don\u2019t try to rush it and don\u2019t feel guilty or silly about it. Try different coping methods, whether the ones previously described or others like spoiling yourself to lessen the blow. Don\u2019t let a bad experience discourage you from reading.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Camila Fagen Guitron \/\/ Blog Writer Anthony Rodriguez, Emerson College student and avid reader, recalls sitting down with the last book in the Divergent trilogy when his favorite character\u2014who will…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-about-reading","category-opinion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/62"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1184"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1184\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/orgs.emerson.edu\/undergraduate-students-publishing\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/14\/2018\/11\/they-both-die-198x300.jpg\")
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